respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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