I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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