ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
