i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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