I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
