I need help removing her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
