Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
