I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize