No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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