Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
