if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
