My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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