Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
