i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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