Duck Duck Cougar?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
