1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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