would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
