Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
