my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
