Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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