Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Soap is not a condiment
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Houston, we have a blender
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize