Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
