You can't motorboat a personality
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
