I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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