history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
