I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize