I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
