Reggie can tackle my bush.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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