I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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