Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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