how can u be prego again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
