Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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