Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
