You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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