stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
