so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
