then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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