You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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