If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
one might say we're banned from that church
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
