SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
