can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
