did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
