omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love you. Go after that dick
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
