just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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