Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
