Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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