Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
