White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
