so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
