I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So squirting runs in the family.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize