i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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