So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
