i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize