He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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