suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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