Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
