this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
