This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
