dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
