He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
