plz talk dirty to me
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
