i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
