I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
