I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
