i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
