I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
