Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
