He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
