And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
