I think I died a long time ago.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
