Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize