Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
