He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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