worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
