The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
