I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
