yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
